(and The Dude landed himself lower than I hoped)

simply, this album makes everything better.

(we all know that by now, though)

Maddie is fond of her towel and big sheet, likes to dig and often chews on rawhide bones

I have a bad habit and her name is Nakatomi. Actually, it’s Ayumi, but a Die Hard reference was easier for my roommates to remember. And, no, there is nothing sexual in nature about this ‘habit’ of a person.

When I don’t have plans or need someone to get dinner with, I call Ayumi. I met her at the restaurant/cafe where I work and she found out I liked cars and that I’m gay. Most of the guys where I work are gay, but no one knew that about me. Whatever. Enough introduction. She likes cars, so do I, we get vegan food.

Ayumi is very opinionated, dresses in a way that makes people whistle and stare at us, and we have opposite personalities. She is also a ‘hard core fiscal conservative’ and it comes up all the time. I spend most of dinner either silent while she talks (very loud sometimes) or uncomfortably laughing because I can’t believe she said that. We talk about how passive I am, how I’m gay, cars, how I’m gay, and her boyfriend/husband in the army. 

I know most things about her life and i’m proud of how tolerant I am around her - to my own detriment. Once she drove 80+mphs in the mountains at Big Bear, where the signs cautioned 30. I usually don’t speak up and I feel pretty rotten for not afterward. It might be easy to think you would not tolerate reckless driving and racing, but it’s really quite hard to bring up, I’ve found. All four tires were sliding next to the guard rails by the cliff… It was more awkward than scary. Why are you driving like this?

Her first words in my car tonight were, “Oh ya, Sophia hates you, too”. Ok. Sophia is someone we work with. She feeds on the drama at Royal/T. I am there maybe once every other week. The other person that apparently hates me is my old roommate, Ihui. And, also, I’m reminded when I’m with Ayumi that I ‘eat other people’s food’. That roommate who ate my food has now told people that I eat other people’s food. Enough. This is the drama I’m reminded of most times I’m with Ayumi.

_________________________

After two hours of our weekly dinner tonight in Venice, I was asked while I drove her home what I want to do with my life. I said I’d like to do some kind of counseling, as I tell most people. Yes, I am serious, I had to assure her. And then I was repeatedly told how terrible of a counselor I would be. Yes, I ‘listen and all’, but she said people need steps to fix their problems and I am too passive of a person for that. Listening does not help people solve their problems, she so confidently explained.

I’m not sure that is a very balanced view of ‘counseling’, I passively tried to interject. I shortly after just stopped talking. I finally did the maybe we’ll have to disagree line and retired the conversation for the evening. I chuckled for one last ‘everyone at work should die’ comment and said goodnight as the door slammed.

crushed

She has a GED. She plays Call of Duty. We probably don’t agree on anything that matters to me. Why do I care? But isn’t my berating futile? Expressing myself doesn’t matter, right? People need answers to make things better…

________________________

A while ago, one of Michael Parker’s posts said we should stop spending time with the wrong people. That’s been in my head ever since.

I write this now listening to Slow Magic from the link Rick replied with to Chelsea, I hugged my roommates when I got home tonight, and I’m quietly missing the people I cherish most in my life, who are somewhere in the 6,000 miles east of me.

So, here’s to those people - my good habits in life.

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

(because there no longer seems to be a ‘Levi Douglass’ on facebook for posts like this)

Honduras

For the next week, I’m in Honduras with my parents supplying optometry services and things to people who can hopefully benefit from them. Chelsea may be the only one who knew about the trip, and I feel I owe Mandie, Rick, and Jill Davis a response to the last messages on my phone in Atlanta.

I’m uncomfortable with the dramatic rich-poor divide between who I’m with and the people of Tela, and men ‘guarding’ our group and resort all the time with automatic rifles doesn’t help.

We’ll see.

Maddie

May 28 1997- February 6, 2012

She was a darn good dog.

(and this blog’s namesake)

Boxed Water Is Better

so they say

i liked him a lot.

LACMA - In Wonderland

The Surrealist Adventures of Women Artists in Mexico and the United States

and some of this

Artweek.LA

i wish i didn’t care enough to be bothered by this stuff.

Native Languages

After sitting through lunch, listening to him scold the Native Foods manager for the ‘mexicans in the kitchen’, I interrupted to say I ‘liked the food and the mexicans.’

He chased me down.

(i now want to eat every part of every animal for the rest of my life in any other country but this)